News Headline: “Police: Man found naked in tree.”
As reasonable a response as any to the news of the day.
News Headline: “The story of the week is Trump, Russia and the FBI. The rest is a distraction.”
The headline is from February.
But name a week this year it couldn’t have run.
News Headline: “Democrats’ early money haul stuns GOP.”
Not to worry.
The Russians surely have a plan.
+ Wisconsin drivers ran over 18 bald eagles in 1999.
+ Stars scream when they fall into black holes.
News Headline: “Winston Churchill’s grandson calls Trump a ‘daft twerp.’ ”
We leave it to the British to find a more refined way to say “f–king moron.”
Or we can go to the French and “crétin fini.”
Or. . . .
WRITE TO QT: email@example.com
Cambridge University will offer trigger warnings for Shakespeare’s works because some passages might offend students or make them uncomfortable.
News Headline: “Drinking beer may lead to mental clarity, study says.”
News Headline: “Study suggests alcohol can boost foreign-language skills.”
Mais ouis, bien sûr.
And keep up the good work, researchers!
News Headline: “Number of undiscovered near-Earth asteroids revised downward.”
This may not include Asteroid 2017 TD6 , which was discovered today as it passed today between Earth and the moon.
Or two other asteroids discovered this week as they passed between Earth and the moon.
Or a total of six asteroids discovered so far this month as they passed between Earth and the moon.
Or. . . .
News Headline: “Trump again rages. . . .”
News Headline: “Trump again blames. . . .”
News Headline: “Trump again boasts. . . .”
There will be no World Congress on Pain in 2017.
So no help there, either.
News Headline: “Trump proclaims ‘National Character Counts Week.’ ”
There is no video.
Otherwise, we might want to experience this in IMAX.