Monthly Archives: June 2017

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Gaudeamus igitur

News Item: “. . . hallways filled with. . . 5,000 balloons. . . .”
News Item: “. . . sex dolls, water balloons and stink bombs. . . .”
News Item: “. . . syrup spread on floors, a fire extinguisher went off and someone also pulled the fire alarm, causing the sprinkler system to go off. . . .”
Happy graduation!

Down the drain


News Headline: “Park Service to drain Lincoln Reflecting Pool.”
Officials say it is maintenance work.
Or have we finally confirmed what President Trump means when he refers to “the swamp”?

QT Early Warning System


The Sub-Bureau for Rapid Service and Predictions of Earth Orientation of the International Earth Rotation Service has announced there will be no leap second added to civil time at midnight June 30.
Plan accordingly.

A republic, if you can keep it


News Headline: “James Comey calls Donald Trump a liar 5 times today.”
In other news, one study puts Trump’s presidential lying rate  at 4.9 a day..
So at least we’re keeping pace.

The shining locker-room upon a hill


News Headline: “Searching for Trump’s soul.”
Have we tried the safe-deposit boxes at Vnesheconombank?

Padded cells in the news


News Headline:
“iPhones could soon be fitted with artificial intelligence.”
. . .  and can start staring endlessly at us, for a change.

Making Churchill great again


News Headline:
“CNN’s Jeffrey Lord suggests Trump’s tweets to London mayor
are Churchillian.”
We can wonder what Winston Churchill might have thought of Donald Trump.
Or we can recall a few words Churchill once spoke in the House of Commons:
“He is one of those orators of whom it was well said: ‘Before they get up, they do not know what they are going to say; when they are speaking, they do not know what they are saying; and when they have sat down, they do not know what they have said.’ ”
Or these words would have fit into a tweet:
“We know that he has, more than any other man, the gift of compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thought.”
Now we can wonder what Churchill might have thought of Twitter.

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language


News Headline: “Local chef teaches Cook County jail inmates to cook healthy food.”
Doug Dahlgren, a Chicago reader, writes:
“I think they meant ‘healthful.’ ”
Yes.
Healthful food makes for healthy people.
And as long as we are at food and cooking usage, is it time a reminder that a pinch is smaller than a dash?
And a smidgen is smaller than a pinch?
And there is no “x” in “espresso’?
And “crepe” rhymes with “prep”?
And. . . .

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QT loud guy at the end of the bar update


News Headline:
Tesla’s Elon Musk and Disney’s Robert Iger quit Trump advisory councils, citing climate change.”
News Headline: “These CEOs remain on Trump’s advisory councils if you wish to  boycott their companies.”
But why should anyone want to boycott Wal-Mart, JPMorgan Chase, General Motors, General Electric and IBM, among others?
And don’t forget Pepsi?

Science and other hoaxes in the news


News Headline: “China solar-powered drone changes the way nations spy.”
Not to worry.
President Trump has plans for a coal-powered drone.