Monthly Archives: April 2017

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QT Planetary Defense Coordination Office


Asteroid 2017 HJ passed between Earth and the moon four days ago, a day before it was discovered.
Rest assured that nothing will hit Earth on Earth Day
Best we can tell.
Except for 100 million tons of carbon dioxide from smokestacks and tailpipes.
Give or take.
For starters.

Breaking news. . . .


News Item: “. . . a police dog-sniffing team tried to follow. . . .”
And why police teams would sniff dogs, we may never know.

A republic, if you can keep it


News Headline: “Did this convicted Russian pedophile help meddle in the U.S. elections?”
A noteworthy point has been reached.
Our current political system lacked only pedophilia to make it complete.

QT loud guy at the end of the bar update


Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) asking President Trump to release his tax returns:
“If you’re going to run and try to become the president of the United States, you’re going to have to open up your kimono and show everything.”
Wait. Stop.
Do not let yourself visualize Donald Trump opening–
Too late?
Sorry.

QT Man-Bites-Dog Worldwide Pinpoint Locator


Early Monday morning, April 17, in a house on the 1000 block of Coronado Drive in Rockledge, Fla.
The dog is OK.
Seventy-four days remain until the dog days of summer.

We have seen the present, and it does not work


The University of California, Berkeley, announced it had canceled an appearance by right-wing speaker Ann Coulter because it was unable to find a “safe and suitable venue” on campus for. . . for. . . free speech.

Unsupervised playtime and other styles of governing
in the news


News Headline: “Trump wants gold-plated carriage ride with Queen during
U.K. visit: report.”

Let’s try to avoid another  tantrum.
Give him some chocolate cake.
That might quiet him.

QT Summer Travel Advisory


+
Fifty days remain until the World Pork Expo in Des Moines, Ia.
Organizers note that it is the “world’s largest pork-specific event.”
+ Seventy-seven days remain until the Welsh Llangollen Eisteddfod in Clwyd.

Ah, nature


News Headline: “Scientists discover massive sulfur-eating hell clams in Philippines.”
. . . as the Intelligent designer walks slowly away, whistling to himself.

In other news. . . .


News Headline: “What is Trump hiding?”
News Headline: “So, what is Trump hiding?”
News Headline: “What isn’t Trump hiding?”
Sometimes a headline writer needs a few tries to get it right.