News Headline: “Trump to shut charity foundation amid probe.”
As we consider all the many versions of flushing drugs down the toilet while the cops bang on the door.
News Headline: “Store workers wielding sex toys chase off armed robber in California.”
As we all know:
The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is with a good guy with a sex toy.
Just ask the National Sex Toy Association.
News Headline: “Florida man wearing bucket on head breaks into store to steal pigeons.”
Everywhere you look, people are auditioning for Donald Trump’s Cabinet.
News Headline: “Santa Claus raids drug cartel, seizes cocaine wraps.”
Ho, Ho, Ho!
Students at the University of Pennyslvania removed a portrait of a white male writer from the English Department’s hallway to show their “commitment to a more inclusive mission” for the department.
The white male writer was William Shakespeare.
A word to those who are out of work–or know others who are–while the merriment happens all around:
The outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas will offer free job search and career advice to anyone who calls from anywhere on December 27 and 28.
The number is (312) 422-5010.
The hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. CST.
And always remember:
There are Twelve Days of Christmas.
And a New Year after that.
News Headline: “Kanye says he met with Trump to discuss ‘multicultural issues.’ ”
Go to a quiet place.
Take a deep breath.
And then contemplate Donald Trump and Kanye West having an issues discussion.
News Item: “. . . as is always the case, the proof will be in the pudding. . . .”
K.R., a Baltimore reader, asks us to remember:
It is never the case that the proof is in the pudding.
The proof of the pudding is in the eating.
And can it be time for QT’s annual reminder that Christmas pudding should be stirred clockwise?
And with a wooden spoon?
Ho, Ho, Ho!
WRITE TO QT: email@example.com