Monthly Archives: August 2016

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Frontiers of science

News Item: Somewhere, in the deepest reaches of the cosmos, far from the safe confines of our home galaxy, the Milky Way, lies a monster. Slowly, inevitably, it is pulling. Over the course of billions of years, it draws us and everything near us closer to it. . . .”
This is happening on President Obama’s watch.
But Donald Trump will put up a wall.
And Alpha Centauri will pay for it.

QT Man-Bites-Dog Worldwide Pinpoint Locator

Man Bites Dog

As of the 30th dog day of summer, there have been no reports of a man biting a dog.
Then again:
News Headline: “Dogs drive car into West Virginia Wal-Mart.”
There are 10 dog days to go.

QT XXXI Olympiad updVIII

News Headline: “2016 Olympics: New events debuting in Rio.”
News Headline: “Chinese man pulls car with ears.”
Rio seems to have missed one.

From Poor QT’s Almanack

Today’s Birthdays: Claudius, 2,026; ¬†Coolio, 53.

From the QT news ticker

News Ticker
News Headline: “Trump adviser claims father of war hero is a ‘Muslim Brotherhood
agent.’ ”
News Headline: “Lip-smacking vocalizations of rare baboons hint at human speech.”
The two stories seemed to go together, for some reason.

QT Hawaii Kilauea Volcano (which has been slipping out to sea at the rate of 2 to 4 inches a year, giving rise to concern that it might suddenly slump, triggering a 1,000-foot ocean wave that would hit the continental United States) update

Smiley Face
News Headline: “Mysterious ‘smiley face’ appears in Hawaiian volcano during eruption.”
There remains no need for concern.
Just put it out of your mind.

QT loud guy at the end of the bar update

Donald Trump
News Headline: “Donald Trump to father of fallen soldier: ‘I’ve made a lot of sacrifices.’ “
News Headline: “Donald Trump is a pathological creep.”
Sometimes we can let the headlines do the talking.
Or maybe he was being sarcastic.