News Headline: “Lump of whale vomit set to make couple thousands.”
News Headline: “Is whale vomit the next big craft beer trend?”
Adding to the list of life’s missed opportunities:
Ronald Schnackenberg regarding his time as a Trump University sales manager:
“I believe that Trump University was a fraudulent scheme, and that it preyed upon the elderly and uneducated to separate them from their money.”
But Donald Trump has put it better:
“I love the poorly educated!”
+ S.W., a Downers Grove, Ill., reader, regarding a California man who approached a bank teller, produced a note demanding cash and was told no, at which point he turned around and left the bank, writes:
“It appears you can add bank robbers to the list of things that aren’t what they used to be.”
+ Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell regarding Donald Trump’s presidential campaign:
“I’d like to see a more studious approach.”
But understatement is alive and well.
WRITE TO QT: firstname.lastname@example.org
News Headline: “Former Clinton aide: Donald Trump a ‘vulgar, demented pig demon.’ ”
Your day may not be going well, but at least people aren’t calling you a vulgar, demented pig demon.
That you know of.