Monthly Archives: June 2016

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QT 2016 vote count countdown update

Trump Sign
News Headline: “Hacked Texas road sign: ‘Donald Trump is a shape-shifting lizard.’ “
News Headline: “Former Clinton aide: Donald Trump a ‘vulgar, demented pig demon.’ “
News Headline: “Kristol on Trump: At least I’m not ‘a roaring jackass.’ “
As the search continues for a species that will accept him.

What happens in Mahadanapuram stays in Mahadanapuram

Aadi Festival

Sixty-eight days remain until the Aadi Festival in Mahadanapuram, India, during which a temple priest breaks coconuts over the heads of followers.
There are unconfirmed reports that the accompanying chant is “Make Mahadanapuram Great Again.”

In other news. . . .

Commencement
+ A Maryland high school valedictorian to the Class of 2016:
“We are the future. It is up to you and I to decide.”
K.R., a Baltimore reader, says it is up to you and me to add valedictorians to the list of things that aren’t what they used to be.
+ Bernie Sanders regarding the presidential campaign so far:
“The media in general do not do a great job in covering the most important issues that face our country.”
But understatement is alive and well.

Thar she blows!

Whale Vomit
News Headline: “Lump of whale vomit set to make couple thousands.”
News Headline: “Is whale vomit the next big craft beer trend?”
Adding to the list of life’s missed opportunities:
Whale-vomit futures.

Trump University, where thousands learned a lesson

Trump University
Ronald Schnackenberg regarding his time as a Trump University  sales manager:
“I believe that Trump University was a fraudulent scheme, and that it preyed upon the elderly and uneducated to separate them from their money.”
But Donald Trump has put it better:
“I love the poorly educated!”

Breaking news. . . .

Bank Robbery

+ S.W., a Downers Grove, Ill., reader, regarding a California man who approached a bank teller, produced a note demanding cash and was told no, at which point he turned around and left the bank, writes:
“It appears you can add bank robbers to the list of things that aren’t what they used to be.”
+ Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell regarding Donald Trump’s presidential campaign:
“I’d like to see a more studious approach.”
But understatement is alive and well.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

The Making of the President 2016nado!

Donaald Trump
News Headline: “Former Clinton aide: Donald Trump a ‘vulgar, demented pig demon.’ ”
Your day may not be going well, but at least people aren’t calling you a vulgar, demented pig demon.
That you know of.