Monthly Archives: June 2016

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Don’t look now

1984

News Item: “Nearly 250 million surveillance cameras have been installed throughout the world. . . .”
So here is the joke we play on George Orwell.
We don’t see 1984 as a warning.
We see it as an instruction manual.

QT 2016 vote count countdown update

Trump Sign
News Headline: “Hacked Texas road sign: ‘Donald Trump is a shape-shifting lizard.’ “
News Headline: “Former Clinton aide: Donald Trump a ‘vulgar, demented pig demon.’ “
News Headline: “Kristol on Trump: At least I’m not ‘a roaring jackass.’ “
As the search continues for a species that will accept him.

What happens in Mahadanapuram stays in Mahadanapuram

Aadi Festival

Sixty-eight days remain until the Aadi Festival in Mahadanapuram, India, during which a temple priest breaks coconuts over the heads of followers.
There are unconfirmed reports that the accompanying chant is “Make Mahadanapuram Great Again.”

In other news. . . .

Commencement
+ A Maryland high school valedictorian to the Class of 2016:
“We are the future. It is up to you and I to decide.”
K.R., a Baltimore reader, says it is up to you and me to add valedictorians to the list of things that aren’t what they used to be.
+ Bernie Sanders regarding the presidential campaign so far:
“The media in general do not do a great job in covering the most important issues that face our country.”
But understatement is alive and well.

Thar she blows!

Whale Vomit
News Headline: “Lump of whale vomit set to make couple thousands.”
News Headline: “Is whale vomit the next big craft beer trend?”
Adding to the list of life’s missed opportunities:
Whale-vomit futures.

Trump University, where thousands learned a lesson

Trump University
Ronald Schnackenberg regarding his time as a Trump University  sales manager:
“I believe that Trump University was a fraudulent scheme, and that it preyed upon the elderly and uneducated to separate them from their money.”
But Donald Trump has put it better:
“I love the poorly educated!”

Breaking news. . . .

Bank Robbery

+ S.W., a Downers Grove, Ill., reader, regarding a California man who approached a bank teller, produced a note demanding cash and was told no, at which point he turned around and left the bank, writes:
“It appears you can add bank robbers to the list of things that aren’t what they used to be.”
+ Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell regarding Donald Trump’s presidential campaign:
“I’d like to see a more studious approach.”
But understatement is alive and well.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

The Making of the President 2016nado!

Donaald Trump
News Headline: “Former Clinton aide: Donald Trump a ‘vulgar, demented pig demon.’ ”
Your day may not be going well, but at least people aren’t calling you a vulgar, demented pig demon.
That you know of.

QT Yellowstone Caldera (the eruptions of which can be violent enough to send a layer of ash six feet deep as far away as Chicago and which erupts every 600,000 or so years and last erupted 640,000 years ago) update

Yellowstone
Yellowstone’s earthquake counts for the past four months, as of June 1,  have gone from 35 to 49 to 53 to 72.
But scientists assure us that seismicity and ground deformation are “within historical norms” for a volcano with 6,000 times the potential eruptive force of Mount St. Helens.
So we can relax.