Monthly Archives: May 2016

You are browsing the site archives by month.

The Making of the President 2016nado!

Obama Palin
News Headline: “President Obama to Rutgers graduates: ‘Ignorance is not a virtue.’ “
News Headline: “Donald Trump is apparently considering Sarah Palin for VP.”
So there remain two schools of thought.

QT loud guy at the end of the bar update

Donald Trump

News Headline: “Trump refuses to release his tax rate.”
News Headline: “Trump denies posing as his publicist on phone.”
News Headline: “Trump accused of ‘unsettling’ behavior by dozens of women.”
Donald Trump needs one of his distractions here.
Maybe he can start making fun of disabled people again.

In other news. . . .

Donald Trump

News Headline: “Donald Trump takes credit for new ‘America’ Budweiser labels.”
S.L., a New York City reader, writes:
“I’ll bet this beer company is sadder budweiser.”
Stop it.
Stop it now.
News Headline:  “Google names new language software Parsey McParseface.”
Stop it.
Mcstoppyface it now.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

From Poor QT’s Almanack

Beware the ides of National Revise Your Work Schedule Month.

Frontiers of science

Resistant Infections
News Headline: “Donald Trump is impervious to fact-checking.”
News Headline: “Donald Trump is impervious to comedy.”
News Headline: “New innovations to combat resistant infections.”
Research continues.
But time is short

This just in. . . .

Python

News Headline: “12-foot python found in ladies room toilet.”
Republicans need not be alarmed.
The snake wasn’t transgender.

QT news you can use

Sunspots
QT sunspot and solar wind update:
72 and 889,200 mph.

From the QT news ticker

News Ticker
News Item: “. . . is froth with danger. . . .”
News Item: “. . . is froth with uncertainty. . . .”
News Item: “. . . was froth with challenges. . . .”
A reminder to be careful where you order your cappuccinos.

QT Early Warning System

Leap Second
The Sub-Bureau for Rapid Service and Predictions of Earth Orientation of the International Earth Rotation Service has announced there will be no leap second added to civil time at midnight June 30.
Plan accordingly.

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language

American Muslim
News Headline: “As an American Muslim, Donald Trump doesn’t scare me.”
So Trump’s secret is finally out.
News Headline: “Hillary Clinton says ‘I really could care less’ about Donald Trump calling her ‘crooked Hillary.’ “
What she meant was that she couldn’t care less.
But maybe she should care more.
Now that Trump’s Muslim secret is out. . . .