Monthly Archives: April 2016

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From Poor QT’s Almanack

Earth Day
On this day in  history 46 years ago the first Earth Day occurred, and today we can celebrate the fact that, well, we still seem to have one.

Falling behind

News Headline: “Can physicists ever prove the multiverse is real?”
A note to the story’s writer:
Physicists in any number of universes already have.

Breaking news. . . .

Nude Protest

News Headline:
“University of Melbourne students strip naked for fossil fuel protest.”
Maybe now people will start to take this issue seriously.

What it sounds like when doves cry

News Headline: “Prince, icon of pop music, dies at 57.
News Headline: “Prince, musician and iconoclast, has died at age 57.”
Among many other talents. he was nothing if not versatile.

A republic, if you can keep it

News Headline: “Only 36 percent of Americans can name the three branches
of government.”
News Headline: “Mississippi governor signs bill allowing guns in churches.”
News Headline: ” ‘Idiocracy’ may be going on tour for its 10th anniversary.”
And will hardly be noticeable.

Frontiers of science

Dusty Doughnut
News Headline: “Comets form like deep-fried ice cream scoops.”
News Headline: “Astronomers may have found ‘hazelnuts’ in the Milky Way.”
News Headline: “Dusty doughnut around massive black hole spied for the first time.”
So the universe remains a vast, cold and indifferent place.
But tasty.

Finally, a solution

Trump Cessna
News Headline: “Donald Trump: I can be more presidential than anybody.”
News Headline: “Donald Trump’s campaign jet flying with expired registration.”
Ground him.
Ground him now.
Ground him until further notice.
See how easy?

In other news. . . .

Raw Meat
News Headline: “Researchers stream HD video through chunks of raw meat.”
Are our researchers running out of things to do?

Modern Republican leadership in the news

Flint Water
News Headline: “Michigan governor vows to drink Flint water for a month to show it is safe to use with a filter.”
News Headline: “Three state and local officials charged in Michigan’s lead-tainted water crisis.”
News Headline: “Senate moves bill to end Illinois lieutenant governor office.”
No bill necessary.
Just require the lieutenant governor to drink Michigan water.

QT loud guy at the end of the bar update

Donald Trump

News Headline: “Philippines presidential candidate jokes about rape.”
Top that, Donald Trump.
No. Wait.
Please don’t.