Monthly Archives: April 2016

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In other news. . . .

News Item: “. . . The move was made after some residents had experienced severe flooding and complaints were registered at the highest levels of City Hall. . . .
. . . which is a good level of City Hall to register complaints during floods.

The Making of the President 2016nado!

Ted Cruz
News Headline: “Cruz weighs in on transgender bathroom issue.”
News Headline: “Trump, Cruz turn transgender bathroom law into campaign issue.”
If you are wondering where the Republican presidential campaign is these days:
It is lurking in public toilets.

From Poor QT’s Almanack

Earth Day
On this day in  history 46 years ago the first Earth Day occurred, and today we can celebrate the fact that, well, we still seem to have one.

Falling behind

News Headline: “Can physicists ever prove the multiverse is real?”
A note to the story’s writer:
Physicists in any number of universes already have.

Breaking news. . . .

Nude Protest

News Headline:
“University of Melbourne students strip naked for fossil fuel protest.”
Maybe now people will start to take this issue seriously.

What it sounds like when doves cry

News Headline: “Prince, icon of pop music, dies at 57.
News Headline: “Prince, musician and iconoclast, has died at age 57.”
Among many other talents. he was nothing if not versatile.

A republic, if you can keep it

News Headline: “Only 36 percent of Americans can name the three branches
of government.”
News Headline: “Mississippi governor signs bill allowing guns in churches.”
News Headline: ” ‘Idiocracy’ may be going on tour for its 10th anniversary.”
And will hardly be noticeable.

Frontiers of science

Dusty Doughnut
News Headline: “Comets form like deep-fried ice cream scoops.”
News Headline: “Astronomers may have found ‘hazelnuts’ in the Milky Way.”
News Headline: “Dusty doughnut around massive black hole spied for the first time.”
So the universe remains a vast, cold and indifferent place.
But tasty.

Finally, a solution

Trump Cessna
News Headline: “Donald Trump: I can be more presidential than anybody.”
News Headline: “Donald Trump’s campaign jet flying with expired registration.”
Ground him.
Ground him now.
Ground him until further notice.
See how easy?

In other news. . . .

Raw Meat
News Headline: “Researchers stream HD video through chunks of raw meat.”
Are our researchers running out of things to do?