News Headline: “Can physicists ever prove the multiverse is real?”
A note to the story’s writer:
Physicists in any number of universes already have.
News Headline: “University of Melbourne students strip naked for fossil fuel protest.”
Maybe now people will start to take this issue seriously.
News Headline: “Only 36 percent of Americans can name the three branches
News Headline: “Mississippi governor signs bill allowing guns in churches.”
News Headline: ” ‘Idiocracy’ may be going on tour for its 10th anniversary.”
And will hardly be noticeable.
News Headline: “Comets form like deep-fried ice cream scoops.”
News Headline: “Astronomers may have found ‘hazelnuts’ in the Milky Way.”
News Headline: “Dusty doughnut around massive black hole spied for the first time.”
So the universe remains a vast, cold and indifferent place.
News Headline: “Donald Trump: I can be more presidential than anybody.”
News Headline: “Donald Trump’s campaign jet flying with expired registration.”
Ground him now.
Ground him until further notice.
See how easy?
News Headline: “Researchers stream HD video through chunks of raw meat.”
Are our researchers running out of things to do?
News Headline: “Michigan governor vows to drink Flint water for a month to show it is safe to use with a filter.”
News Headline: “Three state and local officials charged in Michigan’s lead-tainted water crisis.”
News Headline: “Senate moves bill to end Illinois lieutenant governor office.”
No bill necessary.
Just require the lieutenant governor to drink Michigan water.
News Headline: “Philippines presidential candidate jokes about rape.”
Top that, Donald Trump.