News Headline: “Robbery suspect with meat cleaver thwarted by victim with rubber mallet, police say.”
As we all know:
The only way to stop a bad guy with a meat cleaver is with a good guy with a rubber mallet.
Ask the National Rubber Mallet Association.
News Headline: “Drunk monkey armed with knife chases bar patrons.”
A reminder that these things happen in threes.
News Headline: “Glenn Beck: ‘Join me’ in fasting for Cruz and country.”
To the supporters of Ted Cruz:
You should stop eating until further notice.
We’ll get back to you.
The top five Republican presidential candidates in the final NBC News/Wall Street Journal/Marist South Carolina poll:
Donald Trump 28 percent
Ted Cruz 23 percent
Marco Rubio 15 percent
Jeb Bush 13 percent
John Kasich 9 percent
A historic achievement may be about to take place.
If the poll holds up, South Carolina Republicans will manage to vote for the candidates in exactly inverse order to their merit.
QT has done some research.
This would be more than a upside-down perfecta.
More than a upside-down trifecta.
More than a upside-down superfecta.
This would be be an upside-down jackpot super hi-five.
We take our perfection where we can find it.
QT Midwest New Madrid Fault, where the most recent earthquakes two centuries ago changed the course of the Mississippi River and toppled chimneys as far away as Maine, although geologists say there is only a 10 percent chance of a major quake in the next 50 years, which includes any moment now, update
The Civil Air Patrol has set up a mission base at the Bonne Terre Airport in Missouri to be closer to the New Madrid Fault.
A spokesman said it was “because of the whole earthquake issue we are preparing for all the time.”
Not that anyone should be concerned in any way.
News Headline: “Amazon’s ‘The New Yorker Presents,’ and the future of magazines as television.”
. . . not to mention the future of reading as staring vacantly.
Gary Duffala, a Rio Rancho, N.M., reader, regarding QT’s mention that zero is a number, writes:
“Zero is not a number. It’s a place holder. If zero were a number, then 0/0 would equal 1. No?”
QT has consulted with the faculty of the Northwestern University Department of Mathematics:
+ “Zero is a number. However, division is defined only when you divide by a non-zero number, hence 0/0 is not defined.”
+ “I don’t know of any mathematician claiming that zero is not a number, but in the end it depends on how you define ‘number.’ ”
QT consulted for a simple reason.
It knows squat about higher mathematics.
Squat being a number, also
WRITE TO QT: firstname.lastname@example.org
The Idaho Senate Education Committee has given preliminary approval to a bill permitting public schools to use the Bible as a reference text in science classes.