News Headline: “Two women face terrorism charges for driving in Saudi Arabia.”
News Headline: “Saudi Arabia advertises for eight new executioners as beheading rate soars.”
News Headline: “Saudi Arabia: Iran must act ‘like a normal country.’ ”
Your day may not be going well, but at least you haven’t been called abnormal by Saudi Arabia.

10:15 p.m. Sunday, January 3, on the 15000 block of Martha Street in Van Nuys, Calif.

News Headline: “Obama: Congress needs to act on gun safety measures.”
News Headline: “Lawmakers get donations from NRA, say money doesn’t buy votes.”
The lawmakers are right.
The National Rifle Association doesn’t buy them.
It leases them with an option to buy.

Yellowstone’s earthquake counts for the past six months, as of January 1, have gone from to 60 to 44 to 112 to 83 to 155 to 46.
The trend is apparent.

News Headline: “Banks reject marijuana money.”
News Headline: “Federal Reserve against marijuana earnings in banks.”
Good.
We don’t want our drug dealers falling in with a bad crowd.

News Headline: “Pastor says Hillary Clinton will turn kids gay.”
Is there anything this woman can’t do?

News Headline: “Republicans vote to repeal Obamacare for 58th time.”
News Headline: “House Republicans vote to repeal Obamacare for 61st time.”
News Headline: “Obamacare’s repeal is up first for GOP in 2016”
Note to C-SPAN:
You can save some effort if you cut the sound feed and put on “Yakety Sax.”

News Item: “. . . Trump drew a crowd of. . . .”
News Item: “. . . .the beached whale drew a crowd of. . . .”
The crowds for Donald Trump are larger than the crowds for beached whales, for those keeping track of things that draw crowds.

News Headline: “One dead in New Year’s Day double shooting.”
News Headline: “Surviving victim in New Year’s triple shooting released from hospital.”
News Headline: “Four killed in New Year’s shooting identified.”
News Headline: “More than 30 killed by gun violence in U.S. on New Year’s Day.”
Happy New Year from the National Rifle Association!