Monthly Archives: January 2016

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What could be simpler?

Flat Earth
News Headline: “Trump, Cruz and Rubio deny climate science.”
News Headline: “Rapper B.o.B. insists Earth is flat.”
Ignorance makes strange bedfellows.

QT news you can use update

Sun
Larry Graff, a Chicago reader, regarding yesterday’s QT sunspot and solar wind update, which was 58 and 788,400 mph, writes:
“But what’s the temperature, Mr. Meteorologist?”
About 10,000 degrees Fahrenheit.
But it’s a dry heat.
The sunspots and solar wind are now 61 and 838,800 mph, by the way.
Plan accordingly.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

The Making of the President 2016nado!

Garbage Truck
News Headline: “Trump debate boycott throws Fox News into chaos.”
News Headline: “Flaming garbage truck explodes on New Jersey street.”
The two stories seemed to go together, for some reason.

QT 2016 vote count countdown update

Orange Windbag
News Headline: “Rand Paul calls Trump ‘a delusional narcissist and orange-faced windbag.’ ”
News Headline: “Can America’s political discourse become any cruder?”
Hard to say.
But we’re working on it.

QT news you can use

Sun
QT sunspot and solar wind update:
58 and 788,400 mph.

QT Ted Cruz (R-Alberta) update

Ted Cruz
News Headline: “Is Ted Cruz defining politics down?”
News Headline: “Is Ted Cruz our new Joe McCarthy?”
News Headline: “Is Ted Cruz as big a jerk as Donald Trump?”
News Headline: “What was Ted Cruz like at Harvard?”
Yes, yes, yes, a jerk.
See how easy?

Frontiers of science

Milky Way
News Headline: “Comets form like deep-fried ice cream scoops.”
News Headline: “Astronomers may have found ‘hazelnuts’ in the Milky Way.”
So the universe remains a vast, cold and indifferent place.
But tasty.

QT trickle-on economics update

Jamie Dimon
JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon received a 35 percent pay raise last year to $27 million while laying off 6,761 workers to cut costs.

From the QT police blotter

Bull Semen
News Headline: “Nearly $50,000 in bull semen stolen from Turlock truck.”
Your day may not be going well, but at least you aren’t a fugitive bull-semen thief.

QT loud guy at the end of the bar update

Donald Trump
News Headline: “Jeb Bush: You can’t trust Donald Trump with our nuclear codes.”
News Headline: “Donald Trump: I could shoot people in the streets and not lose support.”
Nuclear codes?
We may want to have another look at his concealed-carry permit.