Larry Graff, a Chicago reader, regarding yesterday’s QT sunspot and solar wind update, which was 58 and 788,400 mph, writes:
“But what’s the temperature, Mr. Meteorologist?”
About 10,000 degrees Fahrenheit.
But it’s a dry heat.
The sunspots and solar wind are now 61 and 838,800 mph, by the way.
WRITE TO QT: firstname.lastname@example.org
QT sunspot and solar wind update:
58 and 788,400 mph.
News Headline: “Is Ted Cruz defining politics down?”
News Headline: “Is Ted Cruz our new Joe McCarthy?”
News Headline: “Is Ted Cruz as big a jerk as Donald Trump?”
News Headline: “What was Ted Cruz like at Harvard?”
Yes, yes, yes, a jerk.
See how easy?
News Headline: “Comets form like deep-fried ice cream scoops.”
News Headline: “Astronomers may have found ‘hazelnuts’ in the Milky Way.”
So the universe remains a vast, cold and indifferent place.
JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon received a 35 percent pay raise last year to $27 million while laying off 6,761 workers to cut costs.
News Headline: “Nearly $50,000 in bull semen stolen from Turlock truck.”
Your day may not be going well, but at least you aren’t a fugitive bull-semen thief.
News Headline: “Jeb Bush: You can’t trust Donald Trump with our nuclear codes.”
News Headline: “Donald Trump: I could shoot people in the streets and not lose support.”
We may want to have another look at his concealed-carry permit.