Monthly Archives: January 2016

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What could be simpler?

Flat Earth
News Headline: “Trump, Cruz and Rubio deny climate science.”
News Headline: “Rapper B.o.B. insists Earth is flat.”
Ignorance makes strange bedfellows.

QT news you can use update

Sun
Larry Graff, a Chicago reader, regarding yesterday’s QT sunspot and solar wind update, which was 58 and 788,400 mph, writes:
“But what’s the temperature, Mr. Meteorologist?”
About 10,000 degrees Fahrenheit.
But it’s a dry heat.
The sunspots and solar wind are now 61 and 838,800 mph, by the way.
Plan accordingly.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

The Making of the President 2016nado!

Garbage Truck
News Headline: “Trump debate boycott throws Fox News into chaos.”
News Headline: “Flaming garbage truck explodes on New Jersey street.”
The two stories seemed to go together, for some reason.

QT 2016 vote count countdown update

Orange Windbag
News Headline: “Rand Paul calls Trump ‘a delusional narcissist and orange-faced windbag.’ ”
News Headline: “Can America’s political discourse become any cruder?”
Hard to say.
But we’re working on it.

QT news you can use

Sun
QT sunspot and solar wind update:
58 and 788,400 mph.

QT Rules of Etiquette for Guys and Dolls

Snowman Deocration
Karl Weiszhaar, a Denver reader, regarding QT’s mention some weeks ago that all Christmas decorations should be taken down by Twelfth Night, which is January 5, writes:
“I leave my Christmas-light snowman up in my office until Daylight Saving Time. Whadaya gonna do about it?”
Keep in mind that rules of etiquette are there for good and important reasons.
Which brings to mind another rule, which QT learned the other day:
There are only seven women in the world who have permission to wear white when meeting the pope.
The seven are Queen Sofía of Spain, Queen Paola of Belgium, Queen Mathilde of Belgium,  Queen Letizia of Spain, Princess Charlene of Monaco, Princess Marina of Naples and Grand Duchess Maria Teresa of Luxembourg.
It is called “the privilege of white.”
Which brings to mind the proper ending for any letter to a pope:
“Prostrate at the feet of Your Holiness and imploring the favor of its apostolic benediction, I have the honor to be, Very Holy Father, with the deepest veneration of Your Holiness, the most humble and most obedient servant and son (daughter).”
Which brings to–oh, never mind.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

QT Ted Cruz (R-Alberta) update

Ted Cruz
News Headline: “Is Ted Cruz defining politics down?”
News Headline: “Is Ted Cruz our new Joe McCarthy?”
News Headline: “Is Ted Cruz as big a jerk as Donald Trump?”
News Headline: “What was Ted Cruz like at Harvard?”
Yes, yes, yes, a jerk.
See how easy?

Frontiers of science

Milky Way
News Headline: “Comets form like deep-fried ice cream scoops.”
News Headline: “Astronomers may have found ‘hazelnuts’ in the Milky Way.”
So the universe remains a vast, cold and indifferent place.
But tasty.

QT trickle-on economics update

Jamie Dimon
JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon received a 35 percent pay raise last year to $27 million while laying off 6,761 workers to cut costs.

From the QT police blotter

Bull Semen
News Headline: “Nearly $50,000 in bull semen stolen from Turlock truck.”
Your day may not be going well, but at least you aren’t a fugitive bull-semen thief.