Monthly Archives: December 2015

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QT loud guy at the end of the bar update

Donald Trump
Savannah Guthrie of “Today” prefacing a question to Donald Trump:
“I know you choose your words carefully. . . .”
Add choosing words carefully to the list of things that aren’t what they used to be.”

QT Exploding Hoverboard Worldwide Pinpoint Locator

Hoverboard
3 p.m. Monday, December 28, at the Deerbrook Mall in Humble, Texas.

The Making of the President 2016nado!

2016nado!
News Headline: “Ben Carson: Running for president ‘pretty brutal.’ ”
Presidential campaigning is brutal?
He should try watching it.

QT Early Warning System

Leap Second
The Sub-Bureau for Rapid Service and Predictions of Earth Orientation of the International Earth Rotation Service has announced there will be no leap second added to civil time at midnight December 31.
Plan accordingly.

From the QT news ticker

News Ticker
News Headline: “Donald Trump calls out Ted Cruz.”
News Headline: “Justin Bieber calls out Michael Clifford.”
News Headline: “Chelsea Manning calls out Caitlyn Jenner.”
The stories seemed to go together, for some reason.

From the QT police blotter

San Diego Police
News Headline:
“Police hunt for 400-pound bearded woman in stabbing.”
News Headline: “400-pound bearded woman arrested in stabbing.”
. . . some hunts being easier than others.

QT loud guy at the end of the bar update

Trump Supporter
News Headline: “Donald Trump supporter arrested in plot to bomb Muslims.”
We’re going to have to look at a lot of things very closely.
We’re going to have to look at the Donald Trump supporters.
We may need a complete and total shutdown of Trump rallies.
We’re going to have to look very, very carefully. . . .

QT New Year’s news you can use

New Year's
A reminder to those who are out of work–or know others who are–while the merriment happens all around:
The outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas will offer free job search and career advice to anyone who calls from anywhere today and tomorrow, December 28 and 29.
The number is (312) 422-5010.
The hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. CST.
And always remember:
There are Twelve Days of Christmas.
And a New Year after that.

Ho, Ho, Ho!

Santy Clause
Who hides in a bakery at Christmastime?
A mince spy.
Ho, Ho, Ho!
This should about do it until QT returns next week.
Ho, Ho, Ho!
Only one thing more to say:
Merry (QT offers this statement without representation or warranty as to the effects or repercussions thereof upon any and all persons who might elect to celebrate the holiday as represented therein and with the understanding that any persons taking such actions without such representation or warranty do so with the express understanding that they have agreed to indemnify and hold QT harmless from the effects thereof) Christmas!

’Tis the season

Christmas Gifts
News Headline: “Experts warn of the dangers lurking this Christmas season.”
News Headline: “Knife-wielding Santa robs KFC.”
Ho, Ho, Ho!