Monthly Archives: December 2015

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And one other thing

Happy New Year!
A reminder to eat black-eyed peas on New Year’s Day.
Brings good luck.
And:
Happy (this statement is offered without representation or warranty as to the effects or repercussions thereof upon any and all persons who might elect to celebrate the holiday as represented therein and with the understanding that any persons taking such actions without such representation or warranty do so with  the express understanding that they have agreed to indemnify and hold QT harmless from the effects thereof) New Year!

QT Rules of Etiquette for Guys and Dolls

Christmas Decorations
Larry Graff, a Chicago reader, regarding a news story about a man who threw a beer bottle at a bartender who had turned on some Christmas music, writes:
“Since Christmas music starts around Halloween, shouldn’t there be a statute of limitations on when it must be halted?”
Yes.
And the same goes for decorations.
All Christmas decorations should be taken down at the end of the Twelve Days of Christmas.
Twelfth Day is January 5.
And the decorations should not go up again–and the music should not start again–until the day after next Thanksgiving.
Which is 330 days from now.
Ho, Ho, Ho!

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

QT but it was a good collar update

Judge's Bench
+ John Emery, a Watertown, Mass., reader, regarding a news story about a defendant who had no pants to wear to his arraignment, which caused QT to wonder if the hearing would be rescheduled pending a submission of briefs, writes:
“A most inseamly affair.”
+ Judith Mann Costello, a Duluth, Ga., reader, writes:
“Did they cuff him?
Stop it.
Stop it now.
QT is sorry to have to say this.
But it will not allow such comments for the rest of the year.

Breaking news. . . .

Pakistan Tennis
News Headline: “2015: A good year for Pakistan tennis.”
So it was good for something, after all.

This just in. . . .

Slow News Day
News Headline: “Fat squirrel fails attempt to jump onto tree branch.”
Slow news day.

We have seen the present, and it does not work

Syracuse University
A student at the Syracuse University Workgroup on Diversity reported that a  member of the music faculty who was unaware of the latest musical trends in her culture was committing a microaggression against her and threatening her safe space.

QT but it was a good collar update

Judge holding gavel
+ A.L., an Atlanta reader, regarding a news story about a defendant who had no pants to wear to his arraignment, which caused QT to wonder if the hearing would be rescheduled pending a submission of briefs, writes:
“Expect him to try for a pleat bargain.”
+ Bill Wade, a Chicago reader, writes:
“The man may need a public defender, as he lacks deep pockets.”
+ Dave Carr, an Owen Sound, Ontario, reader, writes:
“They’ll have this one buttoned up in no time.”
+ C.M., a Chicago reader, writes:
“Is this a case of breeches of promise?”
Stop it.
Stop it now.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

QT loud guy at the end of the bar update

Donald Trump
News Headline: “Donald Trump shares photo of Jeb Bush supposedly picking his nose.”
News Headline: “GOP congressman says Trump behaves like a sixth-grader.”
News Headline: “Donald Trump acts like ‘third grader.’ ”
Keep going. . . .

On the fifth day of Christmas

Christmas Music
News Headline: “Police say man throws bottle at bartender for turning on Christmas music.”
Ho, Ho, Ho!

But it was a good collar

Court Building
News Headline: “Hearing postponed because ‘the defendant has no pants.’ ”
The judge scheduled another hearing pending a submission of briefs.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com