Monthly Archives: April 2015

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Working title for 2016 GOP platform:
‘Not Nearly Bad as We Could Be’

Tom Cotton
News Headline: “GOP senator thinks gays should grateful they’re not in Iran.”
And for the black community:
Just be grateful you’re not in 1830s Mississippi.
And for any children who are hungry because of food-stamp cutbacks:
Just be grateful you’re not in some sweatshop.
We Americans are an ungrateful lot.

When ceramic chickens are outlawed. . . .

Bra Attack
News Headline: “Woman attacked with bra defends herself with ceramic chicken.”
As the National Ceramic Chicken Association reminds us, the only thing that stops a bad guy with a bra is a good guy with a ceramic chicken.

QT 2016 vote count countdown update

Image: Image: Newsweek cover Michell Bachmann
News Headline:
“Michele Bachmann compares Obama to pilot who deliberately crashed Germanwings plane.”
Sometimes a politician is right.
Sometimes a politician is wrong.
And sometimes a politician is simply defective.

The ayes of Texas

News Item: “Texas has the third highest rate of HIV infections in the country, but that
didn’t stop lawmakers from passing an amendment that defunds HIV/STD prevention programs. . . .”
You have to admire Texas Republicans–determined to be second to none.

QT Yellowstone Caldera (the eruptions of which can be violent enough to send a layer of ash six feet deep as far away as Chicago and which erupts every 600,000 or so years and last erupted 640,000 years ago) update

Konstantin Sivkov
News Item: “A senior strategist in Moscow says the best way for Russia to resolve the growing dispute with the West will be to completely annihilate the United States. And he believes that detonating nuclear weapons at Yellowstone National Park. . . .”
In other news, scientists report Yellowstone shows only “minimal movement either up or down at this time.”

Splitting heirs

Donald Trump
News Headline: “Robert Reich: America’s rich super-rich are the real loafers.”
But we know better.
As Donald Trump has often told us, inheriting tens of millions of dollars is hard work.

And money has nothing to do with it

Bowl Games
News Headline: “Report: Two new bowl games could be added in 2015.”
Good to see.
We needed a couple of more bowl games to round out the R+L Carriers Bowl, the  New Orleans Bowl, the Gildan New Mexico Bowl, the Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl, the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl, the Raycon Media Camelia Bowl, the Miami Beach Bowl, the Boca Raton Bowl, the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl, the Popeyes Bahamas Bowl, the Hawaii Bowl, the Zaxby’s Heart of Dallas Bowl, the Quick Lane Bowl, the Bitcoin St. Petersburg Bowl, the Military Bowl Presented by Northrup Grumman, the Hyundai Sun Bowl, the Duck Commander Independence Bowl, the New Era Pinstripe Bowl, the National University Holiday Bowl, the AutoZone Libery Bowl, the Russell Athletic Bowl, the AdvoCare V100 Texas Bowl, the Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl, the Belk Bowl, the Foster Farms Bowl, the Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl, the Vizio Fiesta Bowl, the Capital One Orange Bowl, the Outback Bowl, the Goodyear Cotton Bowl, the Buffalo Wild Wings Citrus Bowl, the Rose Bowl Presented by Northwestern Mutual, the Allstate Sugar Bowl, the Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl, the TaxSlayer Bowl, the Valero Alamo Bowl, the TicketCity Cactus Bowl, the Birmingham Bowl and the GoDaddy Bowl.

Causes and effects

Religious Freedom Bill
News Headline: “Wal-Mart condemns ‘religious freedom’ bill in Arkansas.”
News Headline: “Arkansas governor sends religion bill back for rewrite.”
The system works.