News Headline: “Americans’ confidence in all 3 branches of government near record lows, major survey says.”
In other news, two out of three people you see on the street can’t name the three branches of government.
News Headline: “Five killed, 24 wounded in Chicago weekend shootings.”
Happy St. Patrick’s Day from the National Rifle Association!
News Headline: “NCAA tournament: Upsets, sleepers and Final Four predictions.
QT recalls a March Madness pool during its Chicago Sun-Times days.
A woman who didn’t know anything about basketball won.
When asked how she did it, she said:
“I picked Catholic schools and schools that began with a C.”
So QT’s Final Four are:
Notre Dame, Villanova, Georgetown and Coastal Carolina.
See how easy?
News Headline: “Megachurch pastor in Atlanta asks flock to give for $65 million jet.”
News Headline: “Atheist making a fortune selling Bibles says the money is too good
to be true.”
A fundamentalist and his money are soon parted.
You may recall Asteroid 2015 ET, which was discovered last Thursday, two days after it passed between Earth and the moon.
This just in:
As Asteroid 2015 ET was being discovered, Asteroid 2015 EO6 was passing between Earth and the moon.
It was discovered two days later, which was two days ago.
Both were bus-sized asteroids.
But Asteroid 2015 EO6 was the size of only a smallish bus.
And rest assured, nothing else is headed our way.
That we know of.
News Item: “. . . Chris Christie’s new political action committee Leadership Matters for America Org (LMFAO). . . .”
News Item: “. . . The Virginia Department of Education issued guidelines that require students enrolled in public schools to take the state’s tests, known as Standards of Learning (or SOL) exams. . . .”
LMFAO: Laughed My F—ing A– Off.
SOL: Sh– Outta Luck.
Internet shorthand is increasingly a boon to truth in packaging.
News Headline: “Killer bus-sized asteroid flies dangerously close past Earth.”
But that was last May.
And only 13 killer bus-sized asteroids have been discovered since then, just as they were passing between Earth and the moon.
Which isn’t to mention Asteroid 2015 ET, which was discovered Thursday, two days after it passed between Earth and the moon.
But if it had hit, it would have, at worst, destroyed everything for only three miles in every direction.
News Headline: “Could the Large Hadron Collider destroy Earth?”
News Headline: “Large Hadron Collider hasn’t created any black holes, despite early fears.”
News Headline: “Bigger crashes promised in second run of Large Hadron Collider.”
Say this for humanity:
“. . . upsetting story, Bill. . . . terrifying pictures. . . . something we are all reeling from. . . . very scary. . . . a terrifying story. . . . an upsetting moment to watch. . . .”
Today’s TV reporters are nothing if not in touch with their feelings.
A petition has been started demanding that Buffalo, N.Y., change its name because the buffalo is an example of “racist and genocidal imagery” that causes “damage to the psyches of Native Americans everywhere.”