News Headline: “Scientists hope seabed drill will unlock quake secrets.”
News Headline: “Scientists call for ‘geoengineering’ to find ways to cool climate.”
News Headline: “Large Hadron Collider to push physics frontier.”
We’re just asking for it, aren’t we?
News Headline: “Trains hauling crude oil across America just keep exploding.”
Good to see a headline writer who hasn’t lost his sense of wonder.
News Headline: “Killer bus-sized asteroid flies dangerously close past Earth.”
But that was last May.
And only 12 killer bus-sized asteroids have been discovered since then, just as they were passing between Earth and the moon.
Which isn’t to mention Asteroid 2015 DD1, which was discovered today, two days after it passed closer to Earth than the orbits of some man-made satellites.
But it was the size of only a small bus.
News Item: “A South Side neighborhood in Chicago is getting long-sought federal protection from President Barack Obama, whose visit on Thursday could . . . ”
And why the neighborhood feels the need to be protected from Obama, we may never know.
News Headline: “House GOP rejects climate change theory.”
News Headline: “One-third of Americans reject theory of evolution.”
News Headline: “Saudi cleric rejects theory Earth revolves around the sun.”
And isn’t it about time we got rid of all these theories?
News Item: “An ambitious National Park Service project exploits computer algorithms to predict the loudness of a typical summer day from coast to coast. . . . The eastern half of the United States is louder than the West. . . .”
. . . although much depends on where Donald Trump is at any given moment, scientists said.
Beverly Feldt, a Homewood, Ill., reader, regarding the news story of a Florida man who stole two bras and a skirt and then gave police the slip, writes, despite QT’s warning to play no more games here:
“The man says he didn’t do it. But he may suffer from false mammary syndrome. . . .”
Not another word, not even in chest.
WRITE TO QT: email@example.com
Rolls-Royce announced that for those who like to pamper their pet dogs, it will offer a model including a special entry “that automatically opens when the dog’s wearable collar unit is within range, revealing a convenient ramp and spacious area for lounging about,” as new reports were published of people eating dog food and living in cars.
News Headline: “Italy ‘dying’ as birth rate hits historic low.”
You have to wonder what would befall us if the world’s other nations lapsed into dying birth rates, too.
The human race might survive.