Monthly Archives: December 2014

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QT Christmas news you can use

Christmas Phone
A reminder to those who are out of work–or know others who are–while the merriment happens all around:
The outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas will offer free job-search and career advice to anyone who calls from anywhere today and tomorrow.
The number is (312) 422-5010.
The hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. CST.
And always remember:
There are Twelve Days of Christmas.
And a New Year after that.

Ho, Ho, Ho!

Santy Claus
Who hides in a bakery at Christmastime?
A mince spy.
Ho, Ho, Ho!
This should about do it until QT returns next week.
Ho, Ho, Ho!
Only one thing more to say:
Merry (QT offers this statement without representation or warranty as to the effects or repercussions thereof upon any and all persons who might elect to celebrate the holiday as represented therein and with the understanding that any persons taking such actions without such representation or warranty do so with the express understanding that they have agreed to indemnify and hold QT harmless from the effects thereof) Christmas!

2 days until Christmas

Christmas Sign
News Headline: ” ‘Merry Christmas’ sign removed from roadside after complaint.”
News Headline: “Santa’s arrest record brings halt to appearances.”
Ho, Ho, Ho!

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language

Poinsettias
News Headline: “The poinsetta, that ubiquitous Christmas plant.”
Almost as ubiquitous as the misspelling of “poinsettia,” it turns out.
And as long as we’re at it:
It isn’t “toll the ancient Yuletide carol” but “troll the ancient Yuletide carol.”
Ho, Ho, Ho!

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

But better than Christmas fruitcake

An NYPD police officer speaks with a reveller dressed as Santa Claus during the SantaCon event in New York
Patrick Lynch of the New York City Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association on low police morale:
“These ideas and issues aren’t created at PBA headquarters. They come from the ground up. The anger is palatable.”
All the same, most of us prefer eggnog and cookies.

An envoy will arrive between 1 p.m. and 3 p.m.

Christmas Internet
News Item:
“. . . North Korea, which has four official networks connecting the country to the Internet–all of which route through China–began experiencing intermittent problems yesterday and today went completely dark. . . .”
China denies any involvement.
But think of it.
This is a Christmas present for the world.
China is North Korea’s Comcast.

3 days until Christmas

Christmas Gaming
News Headline: “Man disconnects street lights to make his own Christmas display brighter.”
News Headline: “No Nintendo for Christmas? 10 ‘game-related injuries.’ ”
Ho, Ho, Ho!

It happens every time

Pope Francis
News Headline: “Pope Francis, at Christmas gathering, blasts Vatican bureaucrats.”
Has there ever been an annual office party without someone blurting out something?

iHo, iHo, iHo!

Santa Smartphone
News Headline:
“Last-minute Christmas gifts: Best cheap smartphones.”
News Headline: “Study: Cell phones (likely) don’t cause cancer.”
And what more reassurance could we want?

6 days until Christmas

Merry Christmas
News Headline: “Santa suspect robs pharmacy, steals opiates.”
News Headline: “Strip club wins best holiday lights contest.”
Ho, Ho, Ho!