News Item: “. . . The Chicago developer acquired the 254-room Essex Inn across from Grant Park with plans to transform it into “an upscale lifestyle hotel,” according to a statement from the company. . . .”
E.B., a Chicago reader, writes:
“Just what is a ‘lifestyle hotel’?”
The Boutique & Lifestyle Lodging Association defines it as “a property that combines living elements and activities into functional design that gives guests the opportunity to explore the experience they desire.”
In other words, a hotel.
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News Headline: “Is America governable?”
News Headline: “Should Americans be forced to vote?”
News Headline: “Why don’t more millennials vote?
News Headline: “Is democracy now being purchased?”
Yes, no, too busy taking selfies, yes.
Now on to 2016.
News Headline: “Ted Cruz: ‘Era of Obama lawlessness is over.’ ”
News Headline: “Joni Ernst: ‘We are going to make ’em squeal!’ ”
News Headline: “Washington D.C. votes to legalize marijuana.”
And will need it.
Robert Thompson, director the Bleier Center for Television and Popular Culture, describing the high-wire exhibitions of Nik Wallenda:
“You have a man who’s staring at the heart of darkness and he walks toward it.”
OK. Fair enough.
And you’ll have to admit it sounds a little better than, “Hold my beer, and watch this.”
This is being written on election eve.
The words are for whoever among us ends up unhappy with whatever happens on election day.
So your side lost.
And you are at a loss for words.
Adlai Stevenson II had a few words for the voting public on how the process works:
“Your public servants serve you right.”
Or there is H.L. Mencken:
“Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.”
Or keep in mind the words of Dick Tuck.
Tuck made his fame as a political prankster who liked to go after Richard Nixon.
There was the time Nixon was just starting a whistle-stop speech from the back of a train.
Tuck put on a railroad cap, grabbed a railroad lantern and waved the train out of the station.
Tuck ran for the California State Senate in 1966.
He stepped before the public and delivered a concession speech that has not been surpassed:
“The people have spoken. . . the bastards.”
OK. Time to move on now.
S.W., a Redwood City, Calif., reader, regarding reminders that there is no “the” in Smokey Bear, no “the” in front of Magna Carta or hoi polloi and always a “the” in front of the Mahatma Gandhi and the Rev. Jane Smith, writes:
“This isn’t to mention The La Brea Tar Pits, which are The The Tar Tar Pits. Or The Los Angeles Angels, who are The The Angels Angels.”
If QT recalls, The The Angels Angels play only a few miles away from the The The Tar Tar Pits.
But both are a couple of hundred miles from The Los Altos Hills.
Or The The Hills Hills.
A special election eve note:
You have been hearing a number of references to “registered Republicans” and “registered Democrats.”
There are enrolled Republicans and enrolled Democrats.
There are registered voters.
And with election day almost here:
Time to run for the the hills hills.
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+ The late Chicago Mayor Richard J. Daley to the party faithful as elections neared many years ago:
“It’s like George Washington told his men when they were crossin’ duh Delaware. Let’s all get in duh boat!”
+ New Hampshire Republican Chairwoman Jennifer Horn to the party faithful as the 2014 elections near:
“We need to run with it, push their heads under the water over and over again until they cannot breathe anymore, until the elections are over Tuesday night.”
There are reasons to prefer the old days.
All kinds of connivers liked to get into duh boat.
But at least there was no waterboarding.