Monthly Archives: November 2014

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Praying with the stars

Sadie Robertson
Sadie Robertson of the Duck Dynasty on being named runner-up this week on “Dancing with the Stars”:
“I just want to say I’m so thankful to God who has brought me this far. . . .”
Second place?
Add omnipotence to the list of things that aren’t what they used to be.

From Poor QT’s Almanack

John Bunyan
Theologian John Bunyan, who wrote, “The road of denial leads to the precipice of destruction,” was born 386 years ago on the 28th day of National Fun with Fondue Month.

The season arrives. . . .

Santa Robber
News Headline:  “Santa Claus robs Australian post office.”
News Headline: “Woman punches off-duty cop at Indianapolis mall.”
News Headline:  “Holiday gun sales threaten to overwhelm background-check system.”
Ho, Ho, Ho!

And one other thing. . . .

Thanksgiving
Happy (QT offers this statement without representation or warranty as to the effects or repercussions thereof upon any and all persons who might elect to celebrate the holiday as represented therein and with the understanding that any persons taking such actions without such representation or warranty do so with the express understanding that they have agreed to indemnify and hold QT harmless from the effects thereof) Thanksgiving!

Turkeys in the news

Snood and Wattle
Rush Limbaugh regarding the message of Thanksgiving:
“The true story of Thanksgiving is how socialism failed. With all the–”
Oh, be quiet.
And while we’re at it, an annual reminder:
+ The thing below the turkey’s beak is the wattle.
+ The thing above the beak is a snood.
Happy Thanksgiving!

Getting there is half the fun

holiday_travel
News Headline: “Travelers pack up and take off for Thanksgiving.”
And the Transportation Security Administration reminds airline passengers that they will not be allowed to carry ice picks, meat cleavers, swords, baseball bats, bows and arrows, firearms, axes, cattle prods, crowbars, saws, billy clubs, black jacks, brass knuckles, pepper spray, nunchucks, blasting caps, dynamite, plastic explosives. . . .
And Happy Thanksgiving!

See what the boys in the back laboratory will have

Whiskey
News Headline: “Exploring amazing patterns left behind by drops of whiskey left drying in the tumbler.”
Physicists of the Complex Fluids Group of the Princeton University Department of Mechanical and Aerospace Engineering explain that they are researching the effects of surface tension gradients in whiskey on its fluid dynamics.
That’s their story, and they’re sticking to it.

And there is still light at the end of the tunnel

U.S. troops stand guard in front of a police medical warehouse in Kabul
News Headline:
“U.S. to leave more troops in Afghanistan than first planned–sources.”
It’s OK.
Really
Just think of them as advisers.

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language

Obama 2008
+ President Obama during a 2008 presidential debate:
“Now, Senator McCain suggests that somehow, you know, I’m green behind the ears. . . .”
+ President Obama at Monday public appearance:
“. . . for nearly a decade since I was a green-behind-the-ears freshman senator. . . .”
Except it isn’t “green behind the ears.”
It”s “wet behind the ears.”
C’mon, Mr. President.
This isn’t rocket surgery.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

QT all’s well that ends wells update

Fracking Site
News Headline: “Toxic chemicals skyrocket near fracking sites.”
News Headline: “Scientists see fracking as cause of earthquakes in heartland.”
News Headline: “Illinois clears the way for fracking.”
News Headline: “Federal plan allows fracking in national forest.”
There is always the upside.
Syfy network couldn’t plot its disaster movies without the help of government policy.