Monthly Archives: October 2014

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Oh, the places you’ll go!

Pigeon Face

News Headline: “China performs cavity searches on 10,000 pigeons ahead of National Day event.”
Your day may not be going well, but at least you aren’t a Chinese pigeon-cavity inspector.

Buttocks shootings in the news

Man Shot
News Headline: “Bayonne man shot in buttocks in Jersey City.”
News Headline:  “Man shot in buttocks in Des Moines barber shop parking lot.”
News Headline: “Two men shot in buttocks in separate incidents in Baltimore.”
News Headline: “Tulsa man shot in buttocks.”
+ Dan Skowron, a Romeoville, Ill., reader, writes:
“Regarding all the recent incidents of people being shot in the buttocks, in hindsight we should have seen it coming.”
+ Robert S. Gold, a Key West, Fla., reader, writes:
“I’d like to see someone get to the bottom this–put the whole thing in our rear-view mirror.”
+ K.R., a Baltimore reader, writes:
“It does seem a painful subject.  Or am I arguing a posteriori?”
Stop it.
Stop it now.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

We’ll always have Paris

Paris Hilton
News Headline: “Paris Hilton takes selfies wearing bondage-style lingerie.”
Can it be 2,658 days since Paris Hilton announced she was leaving public life?
Not that anyone is counting.