News Headline: “City makes it illegal to sleep in public in effort to crack down on the homeless.”
OK, so we’re the richest nation in the world and we still have many families who are hungry, with little hope, no work in sight.
We can live with that.
But they’re so unsightly.
News Headline: “Detroit Lions player injures self while taunting opponent.”
Sometimes life is fair.
News Headline: “Government scientists try to take the stink out of pig manure.”
Congress returns from recess in 51 days.
The scientists are racing against time.
Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Wis.) when asked if he believes the NFL should lose its tax-exempt status:
“We have far higher priorities than really arguing about this. . . . Listen, we are mortgaging our children’s future, we’re facing the threat of Islamic jihad. . . .”
For the politician in someone’s pocket, ISIS has its uses.
News Headline: “Pope Francis on gays: ‘Who am I to judge?’ ”
News Headline: “Pope Francis to world: Redistribute the wealth.”
News Headline: “Pope Francis: ‘Even the atheists’ can go to heaven.”
News Headline: “Pope marries couples who have cohabited, had children.”
News Headline: “How Pope Francis could turn out to be a stealth reformer.”
Add stealth to the list of things that aren’t what they used to be.
News Headline: “Scotland rejects independence from Britain, in a close vote.”.
So there it is.
Mel Gibson was hanged, drawn and quartered for no reason.
Then again, come to think of it, is there any shortage of reasons to hang, draw and quarter Mel Gibson?
News Headline: “What does an atom sound like? Apparently, a D-note.”
That would be in the key of C.
Scientists earlier estimated that the average color of all of outer space is beige.
And the smell is faintly metallic.
Or think of the universe as dull party that seems to go on forever.
Good thing we’re here to liven it up.