A man who robbed a doughnut shop in Louisville, Ky., the second time in a week failed to wear a mask the second time and was recognized as a co-worker at the shop, police said.
Edmond North High School in Edmond, Okla., has named 44 valedictorians.
Forty-one are listed “with distinction.”
A call was placed.
“Edmond North High School.”
Many of your valedictorians are listed “with distinction.” What does that mean?
“It means they’ve taken five advanced placement courses.”
Or put it another way.
It is now possible to be a valedictorian without distinction.
News Headline: “Pakistani woman stoned to death for choosing her own husband in ‘honor killing.’ ”
Keep this in mind the next time anyone, for any reason, brings up the subject of “traditional family values.”
News Headline: “Virginia middle-schooler wins National Geographic Bee.”
The award was presented somewhere out East.
CEO pay increased at nearly seven times the rate of average worker pay in the United States last year.
News Headline: “Scientists have discovered how to create matter from thin air.”
. . . and have named the substance benghazium.
News Headline: “Young people don’t want to vote in 2014 midterms–Here’s who we should blame.”
Political analysis is sometimes easier than it looks.
News Item: “. . . The review of existing research on lifestyle habits and health also indicates many of the theories about the growing obesity epidemic may actually be wrong. . . .”
Let’s try this for a theory:
We eat too much.
But it’s just a theory.
News Headline: “This is the darkest place ever seen in the universe.”
In other news from the House Republican Caucus. . . .
News Headline: “Launch photos: Atlas 5 rocket blasts off with secret NROL-33 satellite.”
News Headline: “Watch: Air Force launches top-secret satellite from Cape Canaveral.”
The Air Force may want to revisit the concept of “secret.”