The audacity of inattention

News Headline: “Nun, 84, gets 3 years in prison for nuclear protest.”
News Headline: “Five years after Wall Street collapse, why is no one in jail?”
Because President Obama’s Justice Department is too busy prosecuting nuns, evidently.

News Headline: “Apple getting into the car business?”
A Microsoft car might be more exciting.
Never know when it was going to stop suddenly for no apparent reason.

T.M, a New York City reader, regarding QT’s wondering if the case of a man cited for carrying an AK-47 while dressed as a banana might be won on a peel, writes:
“Any judge who lets this mango should be impeached.”
Stop it.
Stop it now.

Modern Education + the Criminal Mind =
A man being arrested for assault in Livingston, Texas, asked police to “hold on a second” because he needed to get his crack pipe.

News Headline: “Snake-handling pastor dies after refusing treatment for snake-bite.”
News Headline: “Faith-healing couple sent to prison for death of second son.”
Prison is a solution.
Or why not simply require all faith-healers to handle snakes?

QT Modern Corporate Gibberish of the Week:
Optum has acquired Audax.

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
News Item: “. . . hoisted by his own petard. . . .”
R.K., a Chicago reader wants you to know that a person isn’t hoisted by his own petard, but “hoist with his own petard.”
Ask William Shakespeare.
Or any petardier.


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