Big Oil is here to help

News Headline: “Oil cleanup continues after pipeline spill south of Regina.”
News Headline: “North Dakota pipeline spill will take two years to clean up.”
Argument settled.
Oil pipelines create jobs.

News Headline: “24 percent of Americans don’t believe in global warming.”
News Headline: “1 in 4 Americans don’t know Earth orbits the sun.”
The two stories seemed to go together, for some reason.

S.W., a Chicago reader, regarding QT’s wondering if the case of a man cited for carrying an AK-47 while dressed as a banana might be won on a peel, writes:
“Any talk of a peel is premature. The man hasn’t been tried by a jury of his pears.”
Stop it.
Stop it now.

We Have Seen the Present, and It Does Not Work:
The European Union is working to eliminate the word “bankruptcy” and replace it with”debt adjustment” to remove the stigma attached to a business that goes bankrupt.

News Headline: “Bull semen reported stolen from Virginia farm.”
Your day may not be going well, but at least you aren’t being sought by the police for stealing bull semen.

Today’s Birthdays: Michael Jordan, 51; Larry the Cable Guy, 51.
Coincidence?

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
News Headline: “DNA unlocks history of Americas: The baby buried 12 millennia ago is the ancestor of many of today’s native peoples.”
Rob Bligh, an Omaha, Neb., reader, writes:
“I believe that none of our ancestors died as babies.”
News Headline: “Jury reaches partial verdict in Florida killing over loud music.”
R.J., a Chicago reader, writes:
“I wonder how the jury reached any verdict with all that racket.”
Speaking of music, can it already be time for QT’s annual reminder that “forte,” when not referring to loudly played music, is pronounced FORT?
Evidently.


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Write to QT at zaysmith.qt@gmail.com

QT appears Monday, Wednesday and Friday

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