The A-Rod not taken

News Headline: “Alex Rodriguez suspended from baseball for 2014 season.”
Too bad for everybody involved.
Or try it this way:
Allow him to play the season.
All his baseball money for the calendar year, including commercial endorsements, is sent directly to charity.
The fans can choose the charities on their All-Star ballots.
Call it play-release.
Another problem solved.

News Headline: “West Virginia chemical spill site wasn’t inspected in over a decade.”
Is there any end to the magic of the free marketplace?

News Headline: “Woman shoots brother in argument whether gun would fire.”
News Headline: “At least 194 children have been shot to death since Newtown.”
Five days until National Gun Appreciation Day. . . .

News Headline: “Are big banks out of control?”
News Headline: “Do Republicans really care about the War on Poverty?”
News Headline: “Will Obama have an Afghanistan problem in 2014?”
News Headline: “Does Sarah Palin still matter?”
Yes, no, yes, no.
See how easy?

News Headline: “5 asteroids that nearly hit Earth.”
Next they will be telling us about Asteroid 2014 AW32, which was discovered late last week as it passed halfway between Earth and the moon.
Or maybe not.
If it had hit, it would have leveled everything for no more than 10 or so square miles.

News Headline: “Dog blows up owner’s house.”
Once again, and think carefully:
How well do you know your dog?
How well, really?

Beware the ides of National Polka Music Month.

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
News Headline: “Snow transitions to afternoon showers.”
T.D., a Spokane, Wash., reader, wants to know when “changing” became “transitioning,” and when can we have “changing” back?
News Headline: “Wintry mix will continue to transition to a cold rain.”
And when did “sleet” transition to “a wintry mix,” and when
can. . . .

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