This just in from Utah

News Headline: “Utah man on starvation fast to end gay marriages.”
Then again, some problems, left alone, nicely solve themselves.

News Item: “Sen. Rand Paul said Sunday that he’s not opposed to unemployment insurance, but the longer benefits last, the lazier unemployed people get. . . .”
Exactly.
And don’t forget the minimum wage, child labor laws, sweatshop laws. . . .
How do we get away with all this laziness?

News Headline: “Morrissey: Eating meat is the same as pedophilia.”
Which raises the tricky question of vegetarian pedophiles. . . .

 

News Headline: “Firefighter accused of punching a woman placed on leave.”
Until we find out more, anyone who has been placed on leave should exercise caution around firefighters.

QT Early Warning System:
“Sharknado”. . . “Sharkalanche”. . . “Sharcano.”

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
News Item: “. . . the task of exercising their demons. . . .”
News Item: “. . . to exercise some of those demons. . . .”
Everywhere you look, a new fitness craze.

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