News Headline: “Why is Pope Francis promoting sin?”
The pope is being scolded here for his disapproval of the growing gap between the rich and poor.
This means he is promoting envy.
News Headline: “Top 1 percent own 46 percent of global wealth.”
Which brings us to gluttony.
News Headline: “Italy denounced for hosing down migrants in the cold.”
But a good way to interest the Tea Party in an immigration bill.
News Headline: “Salvation Army bell ringer punched for saying ‘Happy Holidays’ instead of ‘Merry Christmas.’ ”
Ho, Ho, Ho!
News Headline: “White House to tap Microsoft exec to fix HealthCare.gov.”
Can we ask more of a news story than that it provide its own punch line?
Mike Gallery, a Crystal Lake, Ill., reader, writes:
“Every time I buy a gallon of gas for $3.29 9/10 and pay $3.30, I should receive a tenth of a cent in change but never do. Where is all my change going?”
Funny you should mention it.
QT has been going over its electric bill.
The bill charges, for various services, $0.02513, $0.00120, and $0.00186 per kilowatt hour.
These charges are rounded upward.
QT calculates that the company this month has slipped itself an extra .726 of a cent.
Then again, who better than the electric company to overcharge?
News Headline: “Justin Bieber tells fans ‘I’m retiring’ on L.A. radio show.”
In a related development, it has now been 2,371 days since Paris Hilton announced she was leaving public life.
Not that anyone is counting.
News Headline: “Poll: Only 8 percent of Americans believe congressional members honest, ethical.”
OK. About 1 percent of Americans are in prison.
Figure the other 7 percent are still on the lam.
QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
News Item: “. . . be aware that Poinsettas, mistletoe and some other plants are toxic to pets. . . .”
Nothing to be wary of.
There is no such thing as a Poinsetta.
Or a poinsetta.
What we need to worry about are poinsettias.
News Item: “. . . Missile Toe, Poinsettias, Hollies, Lilies can all be toxic to pets. . . .”
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