Caught off base

News Headline: “Obamacare reversal sparks confusion.”
OK. Wait. Who’s on health insurance?
Yes.
But what about the cancellations?
That’s right.
All I’m trying to find out is who’s on health insurance.
Who.
Yes.
The people on health insurance.
But how will all this work?
Absolutely. . . .

News Headline: “Microsoft CEO search is narrowing.”
And will soon shut down, for no apparent reason.

Michele Bachmann regarding Tea Party predictions of a botched Obamacare rollout:
“We all look like geniuses now.”
In other news, an omnipotent God, faced with the task of making Bachmann and the Tea Party look like geniuses, said, “I’ll need some time on that one.”

News Headline: “Obama not informed on website failure.”
We have to remind ourselves.
Sometimes our politicians don’t really know what they’re talking about.
News Headline: “Republican senate hopeful jokes about Obama being from Kenya.”
And sometimes they know all too well.

News Headline: “Could fracking awaken Yellowstone supervolcano?”
Will the environmental wackos please stop with these worries about the effects of fracking on the Yellowstone Caldera, the eruptions of which can be violent enough to send a layer of ash six feet deep as far away as Chicago and which erupts every 600,000 or so years and last erupted 640,000 years ago?

W.S., a Chicago reader, regarding the news story about a robotic cleaning device that seemed to have committed suicide by turning itself on and moving along a kitchen counter to a hotplate, which QT guessed might be a case of techsistential despair, writes:
“You just can’t resist these word games, Camus? Be careful what you Sartre.”
Stop it.
Stop it now.

News Headline: “Obamacare has big millennial problem.”
And why should Obamacare be different from most of the rest of us?

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
Bill Scott, an East Northport, N.Y., reader, regarding QT’s new e-novel 60606, which has been called suspenseful and hilarious and can be purchased, name your price, AT THIS HANDY LOCATION, and what are you waiting for, writes:
“I was just ordering 60606 and at the bottom of the page it says, ‘You will receive Basic, Kindle, Nook and iBook verstions.’ What is a verstion?”
There are 143,000 Google hits for “verstion.”
So it isn’t as if QT was mistaken.
That’s QT’s verstion, and it’s sticking to it.

Write to QT at zaysmith.qt@gmail.com

QT appears Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

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