Or maybe in an alternate universe

News Headline: “Obama vows to continue gun-law push.”
We may want to ask quantum physicists to determine how something can continue that has never been observed to exist.

News Item: “. . . teams from Missoula and Flathead counties have searched. . .  along with dog-sniffing crews. . . .”
And why any crew would be assigned to sniff dogs, we may never know.

QT Yellowstone Caldera (the eruptions of which can be violent enough to send a layer of ash six feet deep as far away as Chicago and which erupts every 600,000 or so years and last erupted 640,000 years ago) Update:
Geophysicist Robert Smith, who had never seen two simultaneous earthquake swarms in 53 years, regarding three simultaneous swarms this month:
“It’s very remarkable.”
QT misplaced its dictionary.
“Remarkable” is a good thing, isn’t it?

News Headline: “Gov’t shutdown looms as House GOP aims at health care law.”
News Headline: “Vandals strike again: Uncle Sam statue’s head missing.”
The stories seemed to go together, for some reason.

W.S., a Chicago reader, regarding a Russian man’s shooting another man with rubber bullets during an argument about Immanuel Kant in a grocery store, writes:
“It seems one of the men tried to take over the other’s shopping cart, also, in violation of the cartegorical imperative.”
Stop it.
Stop it now.

News Headline: “AIG CEO Robert Benmosche: ‘Too big to fail has been solved.’ ”
As we start the 23rd day of National Humor in Business Month.

News Headline: “Tiny snake on Qantas plane grounds 370 passengers.”
Single Tiny Snake on a Plane?
The sequester continues to take its toll.

News Headline: “Book deal for Paul Ryan.”
Ryan’s earlier Young Guns: A New Generation of Conservative Leaders slipped this week from 511,365th to 521,876th on the Amazon Best-Seller List, for those keeping track.

QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language:
J.E., a San Francisco reader, writes:
“Why, when you use ellipses to end items, do you seem to use a set of four rather than three?”
Ellipses, known technically as dots, come in batches of three to represent missing words. . . and four at the end of a sentence, with the ellipses followed by a period. . . .
And so on. . . . . .

Write to QT at zaysmith.qt@gmail.com

QT appears Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

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