News Headline: “Comey rips Trump’s attacks on FBI: ‘How will Republicans explain this to their grandchildren?’ ”
No need to worry.
From the look of it, these are Republicans who will cook and eat their grandchildren.

News Headline: “The White House lawn has developed a mysterious sinkhole that’s ‘growing larger by the day.’ ”
Or did you think we’d get through this without a Hellmouth openng?

News Headline: “Trump is trying to make it legal to shoot hibernating bear cubs.”
Because of course he is.

News Headline: “Burglar caught in the act by security camera.”
News Headline: “Three robbers caught red-handed.”
WITCH HUNTS!

News Headline: “Kayaker finds authors of 30-year-old message in a bottle.”
And what the authors of the message were doing in a bottle, we may never know.

News Headline: “Attack marks 22nd school shooting of year.”
News Headline: “Shooting at Trump golf course in Florida.”
How do you think government response might change if there were 22 shootings at golf clubs?

News Headline: “Is China straight-up bribing Donald Trump?”
News Headline: “Is Trump telling the truth on the Iran nuclear deal?”
News Headline: “The worst EPA administrator ever?”
News Headline: “Why did Pompeo go to North Korea?”
Yes, no, yes, to get to the other side.
See how easy?

News Item: “. . . was in eminent danger. . . .”
News Item: “. . . pose an eminent danger. . . .”
G.G., a Chicago reader, reminds us that there are times when only the most distinguished of dangers will do.
And does that make it time for QT’s annual reminder that it isn’t “sacreligious,” but “sacrilegious”?
Almost.

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

News Headline: “Trump expresses ‘sadness and heartbreak’ at deadly Texas school shooting.”
You will recall when our politicians sent their “thoughts and prayers” and did nothing.
Those days are over.
Now they offer their “sadness and heartbreak.”
Before doing nothing.

News Headline:  “Scientists are preparing to create ‘miniature brains.’ ”
Good planning.
We can’t seem to get enough of them these days.